Setting Boundaries and Systems are Acts of Self-Love

2021 has been a rollercoaster life for people. My theme for that year is ‘unstoppable.’

Why? Because I meant to explore a lot of things, to the point that I ‘ate more than what I can chew.’ I accepted responsibilities without taking into consideration my personal tasks and health.

Therefore this 2022, I meant to be intentional.

Photo by Hassan OUAJBIR from Pexels

By intentional, I mean being purposeful with the things I will commit to and saying “no” to the things that are not “hard yes.”

To make this happen, I started setting boundaries and systems into my everyday life.

• I try to start working by 9 AM and stop working by 6 PM. Therefore, the time before 9 AM and the time beyond 6 PM will be sacred for me.
• I try not to work during lunchtime (12 noon to 1 pm) so I can enjoy my meal with my family.
• I try not to work on weekends so I can watch movies, KDramas, and TV series and get to bond with my friends and family.
• I try to participate in activities, workshops, and volunteer opportunities that are aligned with my core values and my long-term visions. Hence, these virtual activities could be about nation-building, sustainable development, entrepreneurship, project management, digital marketing, copywriting, and whatnot.
• I try to be more thoughtful and reliable to my friends and family members who bring joy and positivity to my life. Thus, I bid goodbye to those who only bring toxicity to me.

As they say, If you don’t set your boundaries, others will.

It’s very important to take note that sometimes we feel guilty to set boundaries. However, we must understand that setting boundaries is also an act of self-love.

If we don’t take good care of ourselves, who else will?

Robin Sharma also shared in his book entitled “The Monk who sold his Ferrari”, “Saying that you do not have time to improve your thoughts and your life is like saying you don’t have time to stop for gas because you’re too busy driving. Eventually, it will catch up to you.”

A few suggestions if you’re interested in setting your own boundaries or systems:

1. Take inventory of your core values. Review your daily, weekly, or monthly activities and check if they align with your values. Remove those that are not.
2. Set aside time in the morning to prepare yourself for the day. You may write your thoughts in your journal, meditate, stretch, read a book, or recite your affirmations.
3. Make sure to eat right on time. Inform your workmates, classmates, groupmates, and other people who might look after you so you set their expectations during this time.
4. Wrap your day at least one hour before or after dinner time. In this way, you’re partnering the habit of ‘timing out’ to your work with another habit. This is one of the techniques discussed in the book entitled “Atomic Habits” by James Clear.
5. Schedule and plan your weekend in advance. Do you want to binge-watch a TV Series? Do you want to go out with friends or family? Block it in your calendar so you will not be tempted to work during the weekend.
6. Maximize your work leaves. Your sickness and vacation leaves are there for a reason. Dedicate these leaves to fully rest so you can recharge and be more productive when you come back.
7. Cut ties with your acquaintances, friends, or even family members that are unhealthy for you. You don’t deserve to dedicate time to worry for these people who bring bad luck to your life.

These are some of the things you can do but there are a lot more ways and stuff you can do to set boundaries.

Always remember, it’s important to take care of yourselves, and setting boundaries and systems can help you live a better life.